Since I have been diagnosed, several people I know have also been diagnosed with cancer. And it is sad and scary for everyone involved, trust me. Now, in most cases, everyone has been able to get a clean bill of health after only needing surgeries to remove the offending cancer. They can avoid the entire chemo and radiation journey that I'm on (the joys of getting diagnosed with stage 3 Angry Cancer). I am so happy anytime someone gets a clean bill of health!!! And for those of you that have to follow me down this chemo/radiation journey, I am here for you!
However, this has me thinking, what would I do for you or get you if you had to go through chemo? What would I want you to have? This is really an extension of the question of I get asked a lot: What do you need/want? So, I decided to put together this "care package" of things that would help a chemo patient out, based on what I needed the most.
(1) I would take charge of setting up a care calendar for you. Meals? Groceries? Rides? Transportation for your kids? I might need to ask you for email addresses and what your family likes to eat, but it'll be set up and ready to go on a moment's notice. Please don't cook ever again!
(2) Straws and grown-up sippy cups (you know, those cups you can buy from Starbucks with the lid and straw). Seriously, you need straws, I can't explain how vital they are. It's easier to lay in bed and drink if you have lids and straws. And I'll get you at least 3 of the cups...one for water, one for juice, one for ginger ale...because you will want all 3 at the same time.
(3) A case of bottled water for your car. Chemo makes you SO thirsty. Not kidding, there will come a day when you are headed to the doctor, or to brave the germ-infested masses at the store, and you will be dying of thirst! And then you will think I'm a genius.
(4) A goody bag with the new essentials for your purse/car/bedroom (yes, I really do have 3 sets of of everything): Chapstick, Kleenex, hand sanitizer, and lotion (all unscented, of course).
(5) Fuzzy socks (with grippy feet) and nice soft hats. Again, when you need these, you will think I'm a genius. Note to self (and anyone out there using this as a shopping list): KEEP THE TAG ON THE HAT so that the patient will know where to go to get more if it becomes their new favorite clothing item!
(6) A soft blanket or shawl, perhaps hand-crafted with love. Unfortunately, I am not crafty so I would have to get someone to do it for me. I have received several of these and I love them all! And appreciate the ones that were made during a prayer circle/meeting. You can feel the love.
(7) Biotene makes a line of great mouthwashes, toothpastes, mouth gels, etc. Trust me when I say, you will need it all!
(8) Really good salt...the fancy flavored sea salt kind...and lots of it. And probably some awesome spices. I'll even throw in a little baking soda with it and tell you how to keep from losing your taste buds like I did.
(9) I will share my meds with you if your doctor doesn't give you the good stuff. But since you will probably get all kinds of good stuff, I'll make sure to bring you all the boring over-the-counter stuff they forget to mention that you need to get through it: Tylenol, Claritin, Colase, Senakot, Queasy Pops, a variety of stuff to help you sleep...all kinds of fun.
(10) Trashy magazines. As much as I love to read, sometimes my brain isn't functioning and I just want to flip through People or Us magazine. And then not worry if I don't remember reading it.
(11) Restaurant gift cards for you and your family to use. Trust me, even if you don't care, there will be a day where your family desperately wants to go out to eat.
(12) iTunes gift cards. I don't know if you have an iPod, iPad, Kindle app, whatever. But you will need mind-numbing games to play, music to listen to, books you can read without carting around a library, audiobooks in case your eyes go to hell like mine did. Thank you Apple.
(13) I will tell you NOT to shave your head before chemo starts. Sure, go ahead and cut it short, but don't shave it off in dramatic fashion like you see in movies and TV shows. Because if you have hair growing in/stubble when your hair really does start to fall out, your head will hurt. Not any fun.
(14) I will send you cards via snail mail just because. I currently have 4 or 5 people that do this and it is so fun to get these cards. Whether they are sunny, sweet, or funny, it is so nice to receive them. And SO much better than the bills that fill up the mailbox.
(15) I will pay for a subscription to Netflix or Hulu or whatever you want. Trust me, you will become infinitely familiar with the television schedule and you will start to hate every channel.
(16) When you figure out which day(s) is your "bad" day, holler. I will take your kids out of the house (because you might find them to be loud and smelly). Or I'll come over and take care of you and send your family to my house to hang out. Or I'll kick everyone out of your house, shut your bedroom door so you can have peace and quiet, and sit downstairs and read a book and wait for you to need something. Whatever you want that day to look like. I didn't want anyone bothering me because they smelled, but I needed someone in my house to bring me drinks. And I was lucky to have friends and family who took my daughter each weekend so she never really had to know what it looked like when I felt like that. (The teenage boy was often so oblivious that he didn't even notice mom hadn't come out of the bedroom for days).
(17) Every now and then I will ask you what you need. And please, speaking from personal experience, TELL ME. Do you need groceries? Your bathrooms cleaned? A massage (god, not from me, but I'll take up a collection and make sure you get one)? Soup? Ginger Ale? To go for a walk? To get out of the house? Go to a movie? Talk about how crappy life is? Not talk about how crappy life is? Bring. It. On.
This is just some things that I found I needed...and was lucky enough to have people taking care of me. Happy to pay it forward.
Showing posts with label kids. Show all posts
Showing posts with label kids. Show all posts
Saturday, April 27, 2013
Friday, April 5, 2013
Chemo vs Field Trip...Tough Call
Today is Chemo, Week 17. And it's also the day of the "best field trip" of 5th grade: Marine Science Afloat. Since I obviously have to be at chemo (and I don't do ANYTHING related to boats and/or water), Keith volunteered to chaperone this one.
Yay for the friend who volunteered to come with me (read: chauffeur me) to chemo. And she bought me lunch. And she got to experience the mind-numbing boredom that is sitting at chemo. Yes, that is a good friend!
I do want it noted that I actually got the better end of the deal this Friday. It is COLD and WINDY out on the water and the kids are dropping like flies (puking up a storm) on this field trip. A car full of giggly 5th grade girls, plus choppy water, plus boat ride, plus the smell of vomit everywhere? Sounds like an awesome time--NOT!
In this battle of Chemo vs. Field Trip, chemo definitely wins.
Though there is a great picture of Keith and another friend pretending to be "king of the world" a la Titanic. Hilarious!
Yay for the friend who volunteered to come with me (read: chauffeur me) to chemo. And she bought me lunch. And she got to experience the mind-numbing boredom that is sitting at chemo. Yes, that is a good friend!
I do want it noted that I actually got the better end of the deal this Friday. It is COLD and WINDY out on the water and the kids are dropping like flies (puking up a storm) on this field trip. A car full of giggly 5th grade girls, plus choppy water, plus boat ride, plus the smell of vomit everywhere? Sounds like an awesome time--NOT!
In this battle of Chemo vs. Field Trip, chemo definitely wins.
Though there is a great picture of Keith and another friend pretending to be "king of the world" a la Titanic. Hilarious!
Thursday, October 25, 2012
Cupcakes Cure What Ails You!
October 24, 2012:
Today, my daughter made cupcakes and cake for the teachers/staff at my school. She said that she had to do it to thank them for "giving you their sick time so you can get better." It kind of makes me tear up thinking about it. Baking is her way of dealing with anything, because let's be honest, cupcakes cure all of life's problems! Especially when they're made with Nutella buttercream frosting!
Update:
And this is the Thank You note I found when going to retrieve the platter. Bonus points to the anonymous staff member that did this! You are going to MAKE HER WEEK!
Today, my daughter made cupcakes and cake for the teachers/staff at my school. She said that she had to do it to thank them for "giving you their sick time so you can get better." It kind of makes me tear up thinking about it. Baking is her way of dealing with anything, because let's be honest, cupcakes cure all of life's problems! Especially when they're made with Nutella buttercream frosting!
Update:
And this is the Thank You note I found when going to retrieve the platter. Bonus points to the anonymous staff member that did this! You are going to MAKE HER WEEK!
Sunday, October 21, 2012
Finally Telling the Kids
October 21, 2012:
Sunday evening, and we finally told the kids the news and what it means. I made my husband be the bearer of bad news (we've already talked about how I'm a bad wife, so this should surprise no one).
We had originally decided to go out to dinner with the kids and my parents and tell everyone at the same time...in public...so that no one (my mom) could go crazy. I decided that it would make us never want to go back to whatever restaurant we chose, so we told the kids today at home, and will tell my parents tomorrow (or not...there's still hope I can pay someone else to do it).
The kids were GREAT and handled it in typical kid "whatever" fashion. Now, I'm not saying that they aren't concerned or a little freaked out, but they are total troopers, and can't really do anything at this point anyway. And they are pretty used to a life that isn't all rainbows and buttercups.
It was about a 10 minute conversation from start to finish (I'm learning that my husband likes to give news like he gives directions...TOO MUCH INFORMATION). At the end, I asked the kids if they had any questions. Here's what I got:
AJ (10 year old daughter): (1) Who's going to be staying with us while you're having radiation? (Note to self: 10 year olds don't automatically realize when you tell them that radiation will be 5 days/week for 7 weeks, that you will be at home every day, not living at the hospital).
(2) Who's taking me trick-or-treating?
Alex (15 year old son): (1) So, you're not going to die? (2) Can you fix my phone now? Yep, typical teenage boy...slightly more concerned about the broken iPhone and that dad had promised to fix it tonight.
So, it looks like we survived the scariest part of the process for me. Apparently I didn't even need to freak out about it. And before you think my son is a heartless, teenage boy, he did give me a hug before he went to bed, and I'm not sure I've had one of those from him since he was 8. But don't tell anyone, because there were no other witnesses and I'm sure that he'll deny it.
Sunday evening, and we finally told the kids the news and what it means. I made my husband be the bearer of bad news (we've already talked about how I'm a bad wife, so this should surprise no one).
We had originally decided to go out to dinner with the kids and my parents and tell everyone at the same time...in public...so that no one (my mom) could go crazy. I decided that it would make us never want to go back to whatever restaurant we chose, so we told the kids today at home, and will tell my parents tomorrow (or not...there's still hope I can pay someone else to do it).
The kids were GREAT and handled it in typical kid "whatever" fashion. Now, I'm not saying that they aren't concerned or a little freaked out, but they are total troopers, and can't really do anything at this point anyway. And they are pretty used to a life that isn't all rainbows and buttercups.
It was about a 10 minute conversation from start to finish (I'm learning that my husband likes to give news like he gives directions...TOO MUCH INFORMATION). At the end, I asked the kids if they had any questions. Here's what I got:
AJ (10 year old daughter): (1) Who's going to be staying with us while you're having radiation? (Note to self: 10 year olds don't automatically realize when you tell them that radiation will be 5 days/week for 7 weeks, that you will be at home every day, not living at the hospital).
(2) Who's taking me trick-or-treating?
Alex (15 year old son): (1) So, you're not going to die? (2) Can you fix my phone now? Yep, typical teenage boy...slightly more concerned about the broken iPhone and that dad had promised to fix it tonight.
So, it looks like we survived the scariest part of the process for me. Apparently I didn't even need to freak out about it. And before you think my son is a heartless, teenage boy, he did give me a hug before he went to bed, and I'm not sure I've had one of those from him since he was 8. But don't tell anyone, because there were no other witnesses and I'm sure that he'll deny it.
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