More Results

We've been waiting for the pathology report from the surgery on 11/30. Fingers and toes have been crossed for "clear margins." (A specific margin around the incision is clear of cancer). So far, we have not been lucky with these results...not even remotely. Each time we get the news, it's been more and more grim, with angry cancer growing like a weed.

I took a shot that this 3rd surgery would do the trick. Threes a charm and all, right? Since they were operating on me to put in the port for chemo, I figured it was worth the gamble. And the reason that it was a gamble? They only do this surgery three times. If they still find cancer, I'm pretty much out of options: mastectomy it is.

When the results finally come in, much later than usual, the myth that no news is good news is blown. Cancer is still there and still growing. Both the invasive and non-invasive ones that I have. She calls me an overachiever. I ask how much/what size, but the surgeon says it's not important. Since I really can't get worse than Stage 3 until it hits major organs, it doesn't even matter anymore.

Except that now its really pissing me off and will start getting its ass kicked on Thursday when I start chemo! By the end of the phone call, the surgeon and I are actually laughing about this. :) So, I am grateful for doctors with my same sense of humor!

Now, if I could just stop getting these phone calls while I'm at school...

What I Know Now...

So, now I have details! And a course of action. It feels good, but it also means that now I have to tell the kids, and my parents...ugh...

The first step in the treatment process is a surgery on 10/31 (so much for Halloween being my favorite holiday...and this means cancelling the Yusko's annual Halloween party. My daughter will be crushed!). This will be a pretty invasive surgery, and will hopefully remove all the cancer they can see and also determine whether it is in my lymph nodes and/or has started to spread elsewhere. This surgery will determine the next course of treatment: if it has spread, then there will be chemo (for how long, I still don't know), followed by 7 weeks of radiation. If it has not spread, then there will be 7 weeks of radiation, 5 days/week (this is the option that I'm rooting for!)

I anticipate that I will be out of school from Halloween through Thanksgiving. After the surgery, there is a 6 week period before any treatment can start, so whatever the next step is, won't happen until New Years. Best case scenario, I will be out for 2-3 weeks before Thanksgiving, at school in December, and out in January and February. 

After chemo/radiation/both, I will have to take Tamoxifin (sp?) for about 5 years, and have an MRI and a mammogram every 6 months (good times...you're jealous, I know). The thinking now is that if all goes well, a mastectomy will not be in the picture, though the surgeon did recommend it. I'm opting out at this point in the process.

Meeting the Oncologist

October 16, 2012:

Yesterday I went to work because I can't just sit at home thinking. Still not eating much or sleeping, really hard to be motivated to feed the kids some nights. Hopefully today I will have answers.

Today I met the oncologist. The appointment was at 12:30pm, so Keith and I decide to go to Costco first and run some errands. Why not? And their frozen mocha slushie is really the only thing I want for lunch.

When we're done shopping, I get a phone call from the MRI center that says the results of the MRI are unreadable and I will have to do another one. Apparently I was moving (how is that possible with 3 Valiums in my system?), and the estrogen in my system was clouding the image (no one told me I should go off my birth control pills). WTH?! Needless to say, I am a little angry on the short car ride to the oncologist, which I spend plotting ways to yell at the people involved. This is going to set back my plan of action/results at least another week! SO VERY MAD!

Which is how I walked into the office, but the receptionist was amazing and I feel bad that she has to deal with crazies like me on a daily basis. Bless her.

We did meet with the oncologist...for TWO HOURS. I had no idea the appointment would be this long. At least at the end of it, I felt like I had details and answers that I had been craving, even if they weren't all good. It is from this visit that the name of the blog came about...

First, he went and looked at my MRI himself, and called in the head of breast imaging to look at it also. While they agreed it was inconclusive, they both felt they could see what they needed to see, and thought I might not have to have another one right now since I was going to have to have another surgery anyway. (More details to follow).

From this visit I learned that:
My tumor is 1.1 cm, with a histological grade of 8 out of 9. I refer to this number as the "cancer badness" scale, with 9 being the worst. 
Other words I heard were invasive, aggressive, and angry. Yep, I have angry cancer...of course I do.
I actually have both types of cancers: invasive ductal carcinoma, and ductal carcinoma in situ. Because why not have it all? :)

It is still unknown whether it has spread to the lymph nodes (damn MRI), and it is this info that will drive further treatment. What he does know is that I will have another surgery, and then either chemo and radiation, or just radiation. Either way, it appears the course of treatment will be much longer than I thought.

Now more waiting...surgeon's appointment is on Thursday.