October 23, 2012:
Well, we told the kids on Sunday, and my parents last night, so now it's time to tell everyone else. How does one do that without (1) telling the entire story 372 times, and (2) everyone finding out the news from their own kids, who heard it from my kids, before I have a chance to tell them? In a move that can only be described as one that makes me the tackiest friend EVER, I decide to blanket the world of Facebook with my news. I prefer to call it efficient. Sure, that sounds good, and makes me feel much less crappy.
It actually goes well, and I've directed everyone to this blog, conveniently ready to go so that it would answer people's questions for me.
Here's what I discovered:
(1) People are on Facebook ALL THE TIME, at all hours of the day and night, and obviously at work. I received immediate comments, as well as comments WELL into the night (after even I went to bed).
(2) People think I'm a tough, crazy, kick-your-ass, strong person with a wicked sense of humor. Okay, I'll take that! I think many of these people are too, which is why we're friends :)
(3) I have AMAZING friends and family! The support, prayers, wishes, and words of wisdom were reassuring and much needed. Just further proof of what I already knew...I love all these amazing people in my life. Thank you!
What I also want noted is that some people still find out in rather crappy ways, and it clearly cannot be helped. One of my friends who works at the neighboring middle school found out from one of the district mucky-mucks, over the phone, before I had a chance to tell him in person. I'm not even sure that was legal, but certainly wins the tacky award! And my poor husband had been trying to call his brother (and family) for at least a week, but they had been playing phone tag. It's not really the kind of news you want to leave on voicemail. Well, my niece saw the post on FB and texted her dad the news. Oh well, we tried. (Keep in mind, my own brother still doesn't know. He only texts, I won't send that info via text message, and he lives in LA. Probably won't see him until Thanksgiving...Happy Thanksgiving! Good times!)
Showing posts with label telling people. Show all posts
Showing posts with label telling people. Show all posts
Tuesday, October 23, 2012
Sunday, October 21, 2012
Finally Telling the Kids
October 21, 2012:
Sunday evening, and we finally told the kids the news and what it means. I made my husband be the bearer of bad news (we've already talked about how I'm a bad wife, so this should surprise no one).
We had originally decided to go out to dinner with the kids and my parents and tell everyone at the same time...in public...so that no one (my mom) could go crazy. I decided that it would make us never want to go back to whatever restaurant we chose, so we told the kids today at home, and will tell my parents tomorrow (or not...there's still hope I can pay someone else to do it).
The kids were GREAT and handled it in typical kid "whatever" fashion. Now, I'm not saying that they aren't concerned or a little freaked out, but they are total troopers, and can't really do anything at this point anyway. And they are pretty used to a life that isn't all rainbows and buttercups.
It was about a 10 minute conversation from start to finish (I'm learning that my husband likes to give news like he gives directions...TOO MUCH INFORMATION). At the end, I asked the kids if they had any questions. Here's what I got:
AJ (10 year old daughter): (1) Who's going to be staying with us while you're having radiation? (Note to self: 10 year olds don't automatically realize when you tell them that radiation will be 5 days/week for 7 weeks, that you will be at home every day, not living at the hospital).
(2) Who's taking me trick-or-treating?
Alex (15 year old son): (1) So, you're not going to die? (2) Can you fix my phone now? Yep, typical teenage boy...slightly more concerned about the broken iPhone and that dad had promised to fix it tonight.
So, it looks like we survived the scariest part of the process for me. Apparently I didn't even need to freak out about it. And before you think my son is a heartless, teenage boy, he did give me a hug before he went to bed, and I'm not sure I've had one of those from him since he was 8. But don't tell anyone, because there were no other witnesses and I'm sure that he'll deny it.
Sunday evening, and we finally told the kids the news and what it means. I made my husband be the bearer of bad news (we've already talked about how I'm a bad wife, so this should surprise no one).
We had originally decided to go out to dinner with the kids and my parents and tell everyone at the same time...in public...so that no one (my mom) could go crazy. I decided that it would make us never want to go back to whatever restaurant we chose, so we told the kids today at home, and will tell my parents tomorrow (or not...there's still hope I can pay someone else to do it).
The kids were GREAT and handled it in typical kid "whatever" fashion. Now, I'm not saying that they aren't concerned or a little freaked out, but they are total troopers, and can't really do anything at this point anyway. And they are pretty used to a life that isn't all rainbows and buttercups.
It was about a 10 minute conversation from start to finish (I'm learning that my husband likes to give news like he gives directions...TOO MUCH INFORMATION). At the end, I asked the kids if they had any questions. Here's what I got:
AJ (10 year old daughter): (1) Who's going to be staying with us while you're having radiation? (Note to self: 10 year olds don't automatically realize when you tell them that radiation will be 5 days/week for 7 weeks, that you will be at home every day, not living at the hospital).
(2) Who's taking me trick-or-treating?
Alex (15 year old son): (1) So, you're not going to die? (2) Can you fix my phone now? Yep, typical teenage boy...slightly more concerned about the broken iPhone and that dad had promised to fix it tonight.
So, it looks like we survived the scariest part of the process for me. Apparently I didn't even need to freak out about it. And before you think my son is a heartless, teenage boy, he did give me a hug before he went to bed, and I'm not sure I've had one of those from him since he was 8. But don't tell anyone, because there were no other witnesses and I'm sure that he'll deny it.
Saturday, October 20, 2012
Telling the Kids...
Now that I have details, I have to tell the kids...and my parents...and my friends. That will happen tomorrow, and I'm not excited about it.
And I think it might make me a bad friend that I'm going to email my friends with the news, rather than telling them each individually in person. I really can't figure out a better way to do it...and quite honestly, I'm just not up to it right now. The odds of getting everyone in the same place at the same time, even for 5 minutes, would be astronomical, and probably wouldn't happen until next June :)
Deep breath...
And I think it might make me a bad friend that I'm going to email my friends with the news, rather than telling them each individually in person. I really can't figure out a better way to do it...and quite honestly, I'm just not up to it right now. The odds of getting everyone in the same place at the same time, even for 5 minutes, would be astronomical, and probably wouldn't happen until next June :)
Deep breath...
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
Telling People Makes it Real
October 10, 2012:
Today, I make the decision to tell the people at work. At this point, many of them know why I was out last week, and if I suddenly stop showing up, rumors will start to swirl. So at a stand-up faculty meeting after school, the wonderful VP tells everyone my diagnosis and what we think it means. God bless this woman for being able to stand up there and do what I knew I could not!
Unfortunately, I don't know a whole lot, so that really sucks for everyone. At this point, I think treatment (whatever that means) will be fast, and I'll be gone until the New Year. Donations of sick days are appreciated, and thank you to my wonderful Evergreen family for jumping on that bandwagon. I am not worried about time off!
What I discover, is that telling people has made it real. And a little scary, especially all the unknowns. What I also discovered, is that I work with amazing people and it's made the first step in the process a little easier. I also learned that a new co-worker went through the same thing at the same age, and when I'm ready, she is going to be my sounding board.
Still haven't told the kids. Just can't do it with all the unknowns. And it's homecoming week for my son, and who wants to ruin that? And my parents are still in Hawaii, which is good because I'm a big chicken anyway.
Besides my co-workers, I have told a friend who lives in the neighborhood and helps me with Pantry Packs, as well as my best friend from school. I am slowly realizing that I don't really want to have this conversation 100 times. Facebook is looking more and more like not such a bad way to tell people. That must make me a horrible person, right?
Today, I make the decision to tell the people at work. At this point, many of them know why I was out last week, and if I suddenly stop showing up, rumors will start to swirl. So at a stand-up faculty meeting after school, the wonderful VP tells everyone my diagnosis and what we think it means. God bless this woman for being able to stand up there and do what I knew I could not!
Unfortunately, I don't know a whole lot, so that really sucks for everyone. At this point, I think treatment (whatever that means) will be fast, and I'll be gone until the New Year. Donations of sick days are appreciated, and thank you to my wonderful Evergreen family for jumping on that bandwagon. I am not worried about time off!
What I discover, is that telling people has made it real. And a little scary, especially all the unknowns. What I also discovered, is that I work with amazing people and it's made the first step in the process a little easier. I also learned that a new co-worker went through the same thing at the same age, and when I'm ready, she is going to be my sounding board.
Still haven't told the kids. Just can't do it with all the unknowns. And it's homecoming week for my son, and who wants to ruin that? And my parents are still in Hawaii, which is good because I'm a big chicken anyway.
Besides my co-workers, I have told a friend who lives in the neighborhood and helps me with Pantry Packs, as well as my best friend from school. I am slowly realizing that I don't really want to have this conversation 100 times. Facebook is looking more and more like not such a bad way to tell people. That must make me a horrible person, right?
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