Friday Five

Five things about my week: 

1. I went back to work this week. All five days. I am an idiot. I want to die. Surviving on three hour naps many of the days. I actually went in late Thursday because I could not get out of bed. Seriously, I physically could not move. By the time I got home today I hated everyone and everything. I am not a happy camper right now. THANK GOD for a 3 day weekend so I can rest and regroup for next week. Also, I would say that there are maybe 10 people in the building who actually even knew I was there all week, so my plan to hide is working. I will definitely have to continue this next week because I am not ready to be inundated with everything.


2. The most frequently asked question is: How do you feel? 
If you asked this question of me today, I would say, EXHAUSTED and HOMICIDAL. But I'm pretty sure what you mean to ask is, in general, how am I doing? So, the answer to that question is, yes, I do look much healthier than I did. (That's mostly thanks to the sunshine in Hawaii and the tiny amount of tan I have. Oh, and my awesome hair). I would say on a day to day basis, not taking into account the lymphedema (see #3), I do feel better than I have in a very long time. On your scale of 10, I am probably a 4, on my scale of 10, I'm probably a 6. I don't ever see a day where I will be a 10 again in my life, but I am making progress and not really concerned that I'm not feeling a 10. I have learned to adjust to the "new normal" (which are actually two words I now hate). I am surviving, and that's what's important. Still very tired all the time though. Please be patient with me.

2a. MAJOR BONUS POINTS to the husband who came home with ice cream bars on Thursday because he somehow sensed I was on the verge of killing people. DEFINITELY helped me keep my sanity. And now I'm remembering that there might be a cupcake Groupon we have to spend. I think I will need those to get through this week.


3. Finally started physical therapy this week for the lymphedema. Which has really gotten bad this week and hurts like crazy right now. Here are all the fun things that I've learned about that:

• ALL the times over the past year plus that I've complained about pain in my shoulder, shoulder blade, back, arm, and around my scar can probably all be attributed now to lymphedema that no one recognized before. UGH! I should have started this therapy LONG ago.
• The yoga, push-ups, and many of the things I have been doing lately to get back into shape are actually making it worse. WHOOPS! No more exercises where all your weight is supported by your arms.
• Also, not allowed to lift anything over 8 pounds. WHOOPS #2. I did not even mention all the heavy lifting I have been doing.
• Why did it get worse in Vegas and better in Hawaii? The plane ride to Vegas aggravated it which is why it started 3 days after we landed there. And then irritated again by the plane ride home. It got better in Hawaii (not worse) because I was drinking a TON of water and I was NOT STRESSED. And it got worse 3 days after we arrived home because of the plane ride. And it's possible I'm not drinking nearly enough water here.  
• I'm not supposed to be taking long, hot showers. YIKES! How the hell am I supposed to motivate myself to get out of bed now?!?! 
• I'm also not supposed to be doing dishes, cleaning bathrooms, or being around anyone or anything that can give me an infection (sickly middle school children??). While this sounds lovely, it is completely impractical so I just nod my head whenever she mentions these things.

4. Very excited for several things which have fallen into place this week. Will keep you guessing for now. The only things that are getting me through right now.

5. Workouts are WAY OFF COURSE right now. Will be fixing this starting tomorrow! Or maybe Sunday. Monday at the latest. HONEST! Clearly I need people to get me moving as I am incapable to getting motivated by myself. So, if you ever want to go walking, HOLLER!

Friday Five

This week's Friday Five:

1. So, the lymphedema that had gotten better in Hawaii started flaring up again on Wednesday. UGH! This is definitely a sign from God, I think, that I need to not live here! I will discuss this at physical therapy next week.

2. I am DREADING going back to work on Monday. Please do not ask what has possessed me to do such a crazy thing. Keith and I have an agreement and part of it involves my going back to work. UGH! I have told almost NO ONE that I will be back in the building so that I can spend at least the first week (or two...or more...) holed up in my office trying to get back into the swing of things. We will see how long it takes the "secret" to get out.

3. We are getting family portraits taken this weekend. For the first time since the girl child was a baby. I might be the only one excited about this prospect. Here is a preview of what we will be wearing. Stay tuned for more pics after the shoot!

4. The well-intentioned workouts which got off to a rip-roaring start in Hawaii have disappeared. So hard to be back here, and cold, and trying to get back into the swing of school and activities and laundry...blah, blah, blah. Must. Do. Better. Next week, I promise. I should start a countdown ticker until the sprint triathlon I want to do. That should scare me into getting motivated.

5. A whole week without a doctor's appointment. Gosh, what will I do with myself?! Alas, this will be the only week like that. I start physical therapy next week (two times/week) and PTSD therapy the last week of January (who knows how many days/week that will be...hopefully only one). I think my car can definitely drive itself to the hospital now. Will there ever come a time when I won't be having to set alerts on my phone for doctor's appointments?????

Friday Five

So, I thought that I would start a Friday Five segment each week to keep you updated on what's going on with me each week. I'm hoping to include the good, the bad, and the ugly each week.

Cancer treatment is the gift that just keeps giving, long after you (finally) get a clean scan, and I think that it's important to let anyone that might have to go through what I went through know that.

So, here's my first Friday Five, from Hawaii!

1. I have decided to seriously consider taking the open housekeeping position available at our resort so that I can stay here in Hawaii. I'm actually not kidding. The thought of going home and going back to work next week terrifies me.


2. This has been an amazing vacation! A. MAZE. ING. Please, let me reiterate to you...life is too short folks. Please, please, please take time to stop and enjoy life...with your loved ones...in places that you want to visit. Do not wait to start checking things off that bucket list!

3. The massive pain that I've been feeling since before Thanksgiving (which has since been diagnosed as lymphedema) has actually disappeared while we've been here in Hawaii. I think that when I start physical therapy in a couple of weeks I will have to mention this and see if I can get a prescription to move here! Sounds like a plan to me.

4. My personal trainer (ie: the friend who has promised to whip me into shape so that I can compete in the Iron Girl sprint triathlon in August) is actually on vacation here in Hawaii also. This is awesome...and a little frightening because she knows how to find me and has been texting me workouts. Yikes! Time to get into shape! Today I took the first baby steps toward getting healthy again. See the photo with my workout partners for the day (teenage boy was still asleep in the room) and our reward (view) at the turnaround point. So worth it! 

5. Along the lines of "life is too short," Keith and I have started making serious plans for the future that get us to where we truly want to be. And it's a future that is not too far away. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel...