1. I went back to work this week. All five days. I am an idiot. I want to die. Surviving on three hour naps many of the days. I actually went in late Thursday because I could not get out of bed. Seriously, I physically could not move. By the time I got home today I hated everyone and everything. I am not a happy camper right now. THANK GOD for a 3 day weekend so I can rest and regroup for next week. Also, I would say that there are maybe 10 people in the building who actually even knew I was there all week, so my plan to hide is working. I will definitely have to continue this next week because I am not ready to be inundated with everything.
2. The most frequently asked question is: How do you feel?
If you asked this question of me today, I would say, EXHAUSTED and HOMICIDAL. But I'm pretty sure what you mean to ask is, in general, how am I doing? So, the answer to that question is, yes, I do look much healthier than I did. (That's mostly thanks to the sunshine in Hawaii and the tiny amount of tan I have. Oh, and my awesome hair). I would say on a day to day basis, not taking into account the lymphedema (see #3), I do feel better than I have in a very long time. On your scale of 10, I am probably a 4, on my scale of 10, I'm probably a 6. I don't ever see a day where I will be a 10 again in my life, but I am making progress and not really concerned that I'm not feeling a 10. I have learned to adjust to the "new normal" (which are actually two words I now hate). I am surviving, and that's what's important. Still very tired all the time though. Please be patient with me.
2a. MAJOR BONUS POINTS to the husband who came home with ice cream bars on Thursday because he somehow sensed I was on the verge of killing people. DEFINITELY helped me keep my sanity. And now I'm remembering that there might be a cupcake Groupon we have to spend. I think I will need those to get through this week.
3. Finally started physical therapy this week for the lymphedema. Which has really gotten bad this week and hurts like crazy right now. Here are all the fun things that I've learned about that:
- ALL the times over the past year plus that I've complained about pain in my shoulder, shoulder blade, back, arm, and around my scar can probably all be attributed now to lymphedema that no one recognized before. UGH! I should have started this therapy LONG ago.
- The yoga, push-ups, and many of the things I have been doing lately to get back into shape are actually making it worse. WHOOPS! No more exercises where all your weight is supported by your arms.
- Also, not allowed to lift anything over 8 pounds. WHOOPS #2. I did not even mention all the heavy lifting I have been doing.
- Why did it get worse in Vegas and better in Hawaii? The plane ride to Vegas aggravated it which is why it started 3 days after we landed there. And then irritated again by the plane ride home. It got better in Hawaii (not worse) because I was drinking a TON of water and I was NOT STRESSED. And it got worse 3 days after we arrived home because of the plane ride. And it's possible I'm not drinking nearly enough water here.
- I'm not supposed to be taking long, hot showers. YIKES! How the hell am I supposed to motivate myself to get out of bed now?!?!
- I'm also not supposed to be doing dishes, cleaning bathrooms, or being around anyone or anything that can give me an infection (sickly middle school children??). While this sounds lovely, it is completely impractical so I just nod my head whenever she mentions these things.
4. Very excited for several things which have fallen into place this week. Will keep you guessing for now. The only things that are getting me through right now.
5. Workouts are WAY OFF COURSE right now. Will be fixing this starting tomorrow! Or maybe Sunday. Monday at the latest. HONEST! Clearly I need people to get me moving as I am incapable to getting motivated by myself. So, if you ever want to go walking, HOLLER!