Did She Just Call Me Old?

This past week during chemo, I was talking with the doctor about all the symptoms that I'm feeling. Or rather, not feeling since everything is going numb little by little. 

I started by talking about how I can't feel my hands, or feet, parts of my legs, sometimes my face...boy, neuropathy sure is fun. Then I was mentioning how I had been in excruciating pain before the trip. Probably an 8 out of 10 on their smiley-to-frowny face pain scale (which is pretty funny, actually. At some point I'll have to get a picture of it so I can post it here). My shoulder had been hurting so bad, I was considering stopping the chemo if it got any worse. 

Well, now my shoulder is just numb. I can't feel anything...pressure...temperature...not a thing. Super. So, the pain is gone for now, but the neuropathy is getting worse. Ugh.

And while I'm complaining, the doctor asks, "Is it possible that you're just old and that's why you're feeling this pain?" Did she just call me old? Did I just pay for that? As Keith pointed out, the teenage boy can tell me that for free...and does ALL THE TIME. Well, that sure got the doc laughing (which is now our goal each week). 

All this time you've been telling me I'm "so young and in good health" and now I'm old?! And if I am, it's only because chemo has aged me a thousand years during this process! 

Thank God there's only two more weeks of this to go. While the doc does think that the symptoms will just get worse over the next few weeks, and reminded me that neuropathy takes a LONG time to go away after chemo is done (and sometimes it never does), she did remind me that we are so close to the end/goal, that it would be a shame to stop now. So, persevere I will.

But I'm not sure that I'll stop complaining...

And I guess it's time to start getting religion with the glutamine (which is HORRIBLE, by the way. Makes every drink taste and feel like chalk).

I Can't Feel My Feet...

What week of chemo did I just finish? 14? Yeah, that sounds right. As I head into the last six weeks of chemo, I wish I could say that the process has gotten easier...or more fun...or become a smoother/faster process. Nope, nothing new on any of those fronts.

A couple of fun side effect "updates" though:

(1) Tastebuds: I have slllooooowwwwllly started to get some of my tastebuds back. Very few. I still can't eat anything that doesn't crunch, and most flavors are gone, but there are some that work so I don't feel like I want to kill people on a day to day basis anymore. I'm not kidding, having no tastebuds was the WORST side effect. You cannot imagine how much you stop caring about everything if you can't enjoy the food you are eating.

(2) Blood counts: White cell counts keep dropping. Now I am back to getting shots each week after chemo. At least they are a smaller dose than the original neulasta shots, so they don't have too many side effects. Just a general achy-ness for a day or so.

(3) Neuropathy: Yep, the slight tingling in my fingers and toes has gotten worse. I currently can't feel my hands, or feet, or lips, or face. Awesome. And my fingers can no longer tell the difference between textures. As in fuzzy wool sweater, jeans, skin, soft fleece blanket, computer keyboard...it all feels the same. Really fun trying to type this, by the way, when you can't really feel the amount of pressure you are putting on the keys. As far as the doc is concerned, this super cool side effect does not warrant much discussion as long as I can still tell the difference between hot and cold. I am trying to hold the numbness at bay now by downing large quantities of glutamine powder (recommended by chemo doc) mixed in my drinks twice/day. Yippee, one more vial/jar/bottle to add to the nightstand.