Friday, June 14, 2013

Surgery: A 3-For-1 Special!

It's Friday, and that means surgery day. If you've been keeping up on the blog, you know that it's a 3-for-1 surgery because I'm AWESOME. Please take some time to read the past few posts to catch up if you need to.

Eleven or so months ago, I found the two lumps that have changed everything about my life and year. Since then, I've had more doctors appointments, scans, tests, and blood draws than I can actually count. I survived 5 MONTHS of chemo and have months and months of radiation ahead. But today is surgery #4 (knock on wood) and should be the last! So I can check off another step in the journey...hooray!

We showed up at the hospital at 8:30am for my 10:00am surgery. We are experts at this, maybe even frequent flyers, so we don't even look at the directions for where we are supposed to go and are flying by memory (albeit a sketchy way to go with my memory these days, but we find the right elevator to the correct wing to the right floor so we passed that test). Check-in is a BREEZE because now I know how to fill out the paperwork...and know what NOT to ask questions about.

No need to regale you with a play by play, but here are some of the funny observances this time:
(1) Pre-op nurse has AWESOME sense of humor. Why have I not had this guy the whole time?! When asked if I'm wearing jewelry (a big no-no), I fire back some quip about the awesome hospital ID bracelet, and he fires back an equally funny bit about only the best for our frequent guests. LOVE HIM!

(2) Because I've developed an allergy to tape, all instructions about what side of my body not to take blood draws/blood pressure from are now simply written directly on my skin in Sharpie.

(3) There's a doctor roaming the halls outside my pre-op room in hip-waders, I swear to God. Okay, so maybe they're only large rubber boots but I'm suddenly concerned that this is a bad sign of things to come.

(4) My surgeon BREEZES into the room in skinny jeans, a flowy top, and flip flops. Oh yes, we must make fun of her for this...and we do. Good thing I know and love her because this outfit does not exactly inspire confidence. She's obviously waited until surgery number 4 to show her true identity.

(5) The operating room nurse comes in with a bad consent form that says I'll be having a mastectomy. BACK THE TRUCK UP!!! Needless to say, crisis averted when I FREAK OUT all over them and demand they shred it.

(6) Anesthesiologist this time says that he likes to give a different batch of drugs so that you get to the operating room and get settled before passing out. (This is unlike all my previous surgeries where I've been out like a light before even leaving the pre-op room). Well, Mr. Anesthesiologist guy, I've decided that I don't like your methods. I felt no need to remember the OR because it was crowded (and I don't really want to think about why ALL THOSE PEOPLE IN SCRUBS were in there) and FREEZING BUTT COLD. Next time, I'm going back to the good drugs.

I woke up in recovery at 11:30am, and was out the door to go home at 1:30pm. There was some confusion about me staying overnight but I definitely cleared that up right away. I was home by 2:00pm and installed on the couch where I will spend the weekend (since I now can't walk for at least two weeks because of the stitches in my foot). I'll be posting pics soon.

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