It's possible that I've been a little "doom and gloom" lately. I own that and am okay with it. It was necessary to do a little bit of wallowing.
But I don't want to leave you with the impression that I have jumped off the ledge, so I thought that I would post a few happy things over the next few days while I'm waiting for my (hopefully) LAST doctor's appointment on Tuesday.
I opened up my email the other day, and this is the message that I got from a student...which brought me to tears...and helped to bring me out of the self-imposed darkness just a little bit.
"Hi Mrs. Yusko,
I read about your initial scan results, I'm sorry to hear about that. Cancer sucks. But you're an amazing woman with enormous capability and I have no doubt God will do great things for you and in your life.
Isn't life weird? Bad things happen to good people and not so nice people sometimes get out of life scott-free, all emotions, mental capabilities and body parts intact. And most of the time we don't know why things happen, and sometimes it doesn't always help to hear, "You'll understand after all this is over," or, "Things happen for a reason," because you don't care, you just want the craptastic times to be over. I guess what I've learned from my own struggles is you'll never really know why you have to go through such tough times, but in the end at least you're then blessed with the capability to help others going through similar situations. So maybe that's the purpose of suffering, to then help others. I think that's a beautiful purpose.
I think the lives of people are important, and I think you're special so that just makes you even more important.
I don't know much but what I do know is that the life of someone as amazing, inspiring and kind as you has to be full of purpose. God's not done with you yet Mrs. Yusko, (we're totally seeing Divergent together by the way). We're all praying and sending good thoughts and love. Hope to hear from you soon. :)
So I'll just leave you with this,
"Though he slay me, yet I will hope in him."- Job 13:15
Damn it, how can words from someone so young hit you right where you need it? And what she didn't know is that her words have kind of come true. A new friend-for-life was just diagnosed on the same day I got my scan results and being there to answer her questions and offer support in whatever way I can has been something that I am grateful for. If I can help at least one person through their own battle, then maybe it was all worth it.
And bonus points to said student for using "craptastic" correctly and in context.