Today was my follow-up visit with the surgeon (who is back from her vacation). On the agenda: remove stitches from my foot (stitches elsewhere are dissolvable), find out foot pathology results, talk about her take on pathology. First, I realize that I never posted a pic of my awesome foot wound, so I'm doing that now. Isn't it purdy? NOT! Keith keeps offering to take the stitches out for me, but I'll pass on that thanks, especially as it might have involved AJ's glue-covered craft scissors. Okay, I don't mean to be a wuss or anything, but getting those stitches out actually HURT. I believe I might have said "yeowch" at some point, and maybe more than once. But you don't care about this...move on to the results, right? Here's the scoop:
Upon further review, the foot pathology initial results of "cancer cells" didn't actually show any organized cancer, so NO ONE is worried about this at all and everything appears normal now. (And if not, it's out anyway, so we really don't care). The only reason I cared about these results is the correlation between breast cancer and melanoma/skin cancer. I was concerned in the back of my mind that having let this thing on my foot go unchecked for YEARS might have contributed to the angry cancer I have now. Deep breath...doesn't look like this is the case. Now I have to keep it bandaged for the next 2-3 weeks, continue wearing only these comfy shoes (think the insurance company will reimburse us for more? And could it please stop DUMPING rain so I don't look like a moron walking around in flip flops?!), and no more pedicures for awhile. BUMMER. Someone please come paint my toes... Yes, there was still cancer removed from my breast re-incision. If you remember WAY back to diagnosis, I have both kinds of cancer: invasive (ANGRY) and non-invasive. Obviously each is bad, and both together makes me awesome and an overachiever. If you could only have one, you'd want the non-invasive because it doesn't like to migrate other places. Turns out the cancer she removed this time, albeit a good size chunk, was the non-invasive variety. The surgeon was not actually surprised by this because this type of cancer doesn't tend to respond well to chemo. The margins were clear on 3 of the 4 sides around it, and the 4th was so close to clear and back up to the skin so she couldn't get any more out anyway without leaving a hole. (A funny side-note to interrupt here...the hospital sent the port she removed to the pathology place also. We had a good laugh over the part of the lab report that says: this is a port). She says that I'm in a good place for radiation. Scars are healing nicely and should be on track for a 7/15 start date. This is terrific news and I'm going to consider it a belated-birthday present. So, on the 15th of July, I will meet with her one last time and get the all-clear for radiation. If she gives it, I will run through the hospital to start radiation right after. Fingers crossed!
Today is my birthday. WOW! What a year this has been. And unlike past years, I actually did age this year. Instead of 42, I think I'm chronologically about 62. I feel like I should be posting something deep and profound here on this day. But it kinda feels like just another day. Don't get me wrong, I'm super happy to be here to mark this birthday, because you just never know what can happen. But I feel like the profound words of wisdom should wait until I'm all done with this process. And since there's still MONTHS of treatments ahead, I'm not in that frame of mind. What I do know: My outlook on life has really changed this year. I'm going to compose a post at some point in the future along the lines of "advice to a graduate" or anyone else at a point in their life that requires decisions or is marked by a ceremony. SO MANY THINGS you think are important...aren't really important! Just sayin'... I have been blessed with an amazing support system of family, friends, community, school, and beyond. I wouldn't trade it for the world. It might just be time to start re-thinking all the things I regret not doing and either (1) let them go or (2) just do them! Trust me, I now have a good start at a bucket list and it's time to start making them happen. I think that'll be another post here in the future. All celebrations require dessert! And why not just eat it first...or instead of. Life's too short not to enjoy yourself once in awhile.
I absolutely had to post this as a Music Monday, simply because I love Jim Parsons and his portrayal of Sheldon on Big Bang Theory. The video is hilarious!
I've been waiting all week for the pathology results from surgery #4. I knew there was a possibility the results would be delayed because my surgeon was out of town, but she had said that she'd make sure someone (either my chemo doc, or another person in the office) would receive the results so that they could call me. So, Friday morning I'm finally calling the surgeon's office asking for them myself. Of course, it's a Friday and hardly anyone is available who is "qualified" to read them so they promise to find someone to get back to me. At 4:00pm, someone leaves a voicemail that basically says, "see if your oncologist can get them or you'll have to wait until Monday when the surgeon is back." Funny! And unacceptable. So I madly get on the phone and call everyone I can think of that can get me those results. Again, 4:00pm on a Friday? That's really gonna happen. Luckily the amazing receptionist at the surgeon's office took this as a personal challenge to get someone to call me back and she is able to track down my chemo doc to login and get the results so she can call me back. So at 6:30pm, I finally get the call. And that's when I knew I should have just left it alone. What the hell did I want this kind of news on a Friday night for?? Initial results indicate that cancer STILL growing and removed from reincision; still no clear margins all the way around. UGH. Foot pathology shows cancer cells but results being sent to outside skin cancer specialist for interpretation. I am on the agenda for doctors' weekly Tuesday confab (because I'm now a really cool case) to determine what this means for further treatment. Chemo doc thinks this might mean a change in next step, but surgeon will call me next week to discuss. Lesson learned? At this point in the process, waiting until Monday for these results would not have killed me, and probably would have been a better idea. Add this to the list of things you should keep in mind: do you really want to know the results on Friday night when you can't even talk to anyone again until Monday? When you could have lived in beautiful oblivion for a few more days? Maybe if this is new for you, you might. But I'm a "pro" now and these results really weren't going to make a difference in the grand scheme of things. I should have left well enough alone!
I won't be posting too much, mainly because pain meds are great but you just never know what you're really saying. Friends don't let friends post while hopped up on Oxy. Home from the hospital, everything hurts, pain meds are great, and I'm living on the couch for at least the weekend. For anyone not on Facebook, here are some post-surgery pics that I posted over the weekend. No, that's not horrible self-tanner...that's what iodine does to you. It's actually WAY more orange than it appears, and Keith has taken to calling me an Oompa Loompa. I am paying him back for this kindness by making him carry me everywhere.
First, I realize that I never posted a pic of my awesome foot wound, so I'm doing that now. Isn't it purdy? NOT! Keith keeps offering to take the stitches out for me, but I'll pass on that thanks, especially as it might have involved AJ's glue-covered craft scissors.
Upon further review, the foot pathology initial results of "cancer cells" didn't actually show any organized cancer, so NO ONE is worried about this at all and everything appears normal now. (And if not, it's out anyway, so we really don't care). The only reason I cared about these results is the correlation between breast cancer and melanoma/skin cancer. I was concerned in the back of my mind that having let this thing on my foot go unchecked for YEARS might have contributed to the angry cancer I have now. Deep breath...doesn't look like this is the case. Now I have to keep it bandaged for the next 2-3 weeks, continue wearing only these comfy shoes (think the insurance company will reimburse us for more? And could it please stop DUMPING rain so I don't look like a moron walking around in flip flops?!), and no more pedicures for awhile. BUMMER. Someone please come paint my toes...
