AAAAAH!

Someday I will go back and update this blog to include all the details that I leave out...sometimes to protect the guilty :)

Let's just say that this is a week where I am constantly reminded of the need to breathe. 

Deep breath in...

Deep breath out...

Repeat...

And I hope that the teenager pulls it together.

I am going to start looking into yoga.

And massage.

And definitely a vacation.

Biggest Loser in Reverse

The weight gain continues...Friday's scale reckoning saw a 3 pound weight gain in the last week. THREE POUNDS in seven days. That's what some Biggest Loser contestants LOSE in a week. Add that to the 5-6 pounds that I've gained since Christmas and that's NINE pounds gained in 8 weeks. 

So tired of hearing that it's because I'm not active...or my system is all messed up...once I start exercising it will get better. NOT TRUE! I have been getting out walking this week (and saw a three pound increase in spite of it). I drink more water than any person I know. And I don't actually eat all the "bad" things I used to because they don't taste good anymore. There is clearly something else going on here.

But no one takes me seriously when I complain that none of my clothes fit. My concerns are dismissed because I "look healthy." Here's the thing though, if I was any normal person with concerns about gaining 3 pounds in a week, my doctor probably would take me seriously. That's quite a bit of weight for someone my size to put on in a week...it would take a LOT of effort to do it.

I am convinced that the steroids I am given play a huge (ha, ha) roll in this. If there is one more week of weight gain, I might go postal on someone...stay tuned...

Music Monday

Another Music Monday brought to you by students clearly much cooler than I am.

I'm not actually sure what it is about this song, but it just works for me. Thanks!

Allergic to Tape? Of Course I Am!

Because it has become quite a comedy of errors on chemo days, I thought I would post about my latest adventure.

Friday was my second round of Taxol, which is honestly WAY better than the AC dosing that I was getting. It is SUPPOSED to take about an hour for the infusion, plus 15 minutes or so for pre-meds, plus about 30 minutes for lab work. So, all told, I am only supposed to be there for two hours TOPS. At least, that's what they keep promising. Hasn't ever lived up to that. This past week was the kicker: arrived at 10:30am...left the hospital at 4:15pm. I wish that was a joke.

One of the biggest snafus that day was my allergic reaction to...medical tape? Band aids? The infusion needle stabbed into my port? I'm not sure, but it was immediate and painful and caused MASSIVE delays as I threatened to rip out my port.

Here's what I looked like about 10 hours after the reaction:

You can't really see the port in this picture, but it was so red it appeared to be on FIRE! And here I thought I'd have to save Allicia Keys' "Girl on Fire" for a Music Monday during radiation. Maybe not, because I was truly on fire.

Thanks to several people who have offered suggestions to solve the problem this week. Will let you know what works!

Claritin is Worth It's Weight in Gold

Compared to the AC chemotherapy I was getting for 8 weeks, Taxol seems like a breeze (at least right now...KNOCKING ON WOOD). The only real side effect is that I'm a little more tired. Trust me, this is something that I can deal with!

However, one of the other side effects is neuropathy (a numbing/tingling/or loss of function of some nerves, usually in the hands and feet). Well, I think I'm getting this on an intermittent basis right now. It started on Sunday and does come and go. It also seems to be accompanied by joint pain (shoulders, elbows, knees, ankles...are those all joints? I've forgotten my anatomy). Just when you think you're feeling all good and you might actually survive this batch of chemo...WHAM! You've got to have something go wrong!

I have taken to trying the "cure" that worked for the bone pain with the neulasta shots: Claritin. And it works! And I still haven't figured out WHY (which scientist me really wants to know). But I have done enough reading to realize that I'm not the only one it works for, nor is my doctor the only one telling people to try it. I still don't get how anyone came across this remedy. Seriously, who first said, "hey, let's try Claritin. It's awesome for my stuffy nose." Doesn't really make sense...but I don't care. I do wonder if the drug company knows this, because it seems like a whole other market they could be making large sums of cash from.

And before you say that this pain relief is all in my head, a mind over matter type of thing, I DON'T ACTUALLY CARE. Because Claritin is my new favorite drug right now. Thank God they sell it at Costco!