It's that time...the first (of many over the course of the next five years) series of scans/bloodwork/doctor's appointments is coming up.
It has been four months since my last set of scans and appointments, so now it's time for another round. This batch, however, will be the first after an extended period of time without treatment.
I wish I could say that I was clever enough to have come up with "scan-ticipation," but I stole it from one of my cancer peeps. We also use the term "scanxiety." It's a scary thing to always be wondering what the next scan might reveal. And to have to continue to subject yourself to them for YEARS before you can actually get a clean bill of health.
So, while you think positive thoughts and hope for the best, in the back of your mind (or maybe closer to the front) you are always thinking, "what if....???"
In this day and age, I don't really understand why there can't be a test or scan or something I can do that would give the "all clear/thumbs up/no worries." Seriously, so maybe curing cancer is outside the realm of possibility (though I don't understand what's taking so long for that either), but there's got to be some sort of cool machine that I can walk through every morning that tells me, "yes! You're healthy! No more cancer!" You know, kind of like the machine at the airport. You mean to tell me we can't utilize the concept for a better purpose?!
Anyway, these are just rants designed to distract me from how anxious I'm feeling.
If you're reading this post, send out good vibes, positive thoughts, and all kinds of prayers tomorrow. I won't know anything unfortunately until next week when I meet with the doctor, so don't expect immediate news. Bummer.